The good, the bad, and the ugly

The good: Amanda is fitting in surprisingly well. She has decided that she likes me as her caretaker and maybe someday I'll graduate to Mommy status. She is preferring me to Brett and follows me through the house. She's a snuggle bug and a really happy little girl. Her brothers like her. I believe Nathan sees her as "that other kid in the house", but once things settle down a bit, they'll get along fine.

We like her!





The Bad: We are really trying to find anything she likes. She's content to carry a graham cracker around the house and just nibble from it. She's lost a lot of weight and having a child who's decided to be picky is not a good thing. I called our Chinese neighbor (who happens to be from the same province!) and she said many people are lactose intolerate there just because they can't afford dairy products. She also suggested where I could get some better tasting rice in our grocery store because as she puts it "American rice is awful!".

The Ugly: At the doctor on Monday, they found a double ear infection and a burst eardrum and gave me all these viles to fill up to check for digestion creepy crawlies. Then the Tuesday doctor took a lot of blood work to check for all those things they need to check adopted children for. In a few days, we'll find what is going on with her digestive system. So, healthy children are a blessing! I wonder how she'll be when she feels good!

Amanda is home!

First, the house was prepared. We put away all small toys and made a sign. We were very excited. Brett's plane was delayed by 45 minutes.



Our first glimpse of Brett! Yay! They are home!








We got Amanda in her carseat. I had prepared the boys for a lot of crying and possible screaming, but she didn't. She giggled all the way home. She sucked down a bottle of rice milk and proceeded to eat a bunch of mashed sweet potatoes with chicken. There was a little trouble putting her to bed and she needed to make sure Brett was around. Then finally sleep! She woke up ready to play at 1:30 and then went back to sleep around 5:30. She ate breakfast! I'm thinking we're in the honeymoon stage, but so be it. It's been an easy transition.

Last day in China

China is an amazing country and I'm proud to have adopted a daughter from there. I can think of no other country which is so rich in culture and the people are wonderful.

They are beautiful, both inside and out. I haven't had the time and energy to share much detail but here are two particular experiences which I will remember.

My dad and I each bought Chinese scrolls, which are beautiful hand-painted tapestries that hang from the wall. These are unique in that orphans painted them! Kenny sells them and has a shop close to the White Swan hotel. He provides education to the orphans and sells their art to provide support for the orphans. My dad bought a beautiful one that was actually painted by an orphan with one arm! Here is Kenny's Web site: http://www.echoinchina.org/index.html

He's a great example of a man of courage who is fighting injustice and caring for the least of these. He is known by the government and not afraid of that. He was imprisoned for one week, along with others in his Christian group that he meets with.

One of the families in our group adopted a child with a cleft lip and palate, which hasn't been repaired yet. The husband encountered a woman who was so surprised that they wanted a child like that who she actually called ugly. The woman told them that a girl with that condition could get no education b/c of her looks and as a girl she would have trouble helping/supporting her aged parents (a huge responsibility and focus in China especially)

This woman had no idea that this wonderful little girl could be helped and was amazed that anyone would take her into their family. What a blessing to have a free press and free flow of information in the USA! My prayer is that China would do the same and compassion would arise from the information so more Chinese families would take care of these orphans as well.

Pictures on the Riverboat tour in Guangzhou



More red couch photos




It was a moving and amazing experience to have 40 families give the oath today at the U.S. consulate, sealing the adoption of their Chinese daughters and sons. My dad and I celebrated simply, having Papa John's pizza in the hotel room tonight. (We've had many Chinese meals so we needed a break)

I'm looking so forward to introducing Amanda to her mom and brothers! Skype has worked Ok for us a few nights but it sure doesn't compare to being there!
It's been difficult and tiring (since Amanda and I have both been sick - some of the diarrhea is back for her] but also so fulfilling to finally bond with Amanda. She's a sweet and fun girl who pulls you in with her adorable nature. She's quite the people person. One person in our group says she talks almost as much as her dad and grandpa. :)

We leave early Friday morning (Thur night in the States) for Tokyo and then on to LA and then home. I'd love to fast forward the next day. :)

Thank you for all your encouragement and prayers! I'm in awe of what God is doing. I look forward to showing her off to everyone.

The red couch

One of the final stops in a Chinese adoption is the red couch at the White Swan Hotel. For some reason, it has become the Chinese adoption photo.





Brett was feeling well enough to go swimming with Amanda which she LOVED. He also went on a river cruise with the group at night. He told me you'll know when she wants something since she'll start making happy noises and almost singing.
He has not participated in a lot of the group touring opportunities due to him or Amanda being sick, but he will get her home and that is the important part. Only two more sleeps and Brett and Amanda come home.

To be honest, I'm a little nervous and downright scared. She sounds like a live wire and quite stubborn about the things that will keep her healthy (sleep and food). I'm seeing it as a two year old standoff with a little girl who really doesn't know what is going on. She is controlling the things she can control. It seems like she saw the initial days with Brett as a fun party and now she just wants to go "home" to the orphanage - party's over! But she doesn't understand that her whole world is changing...a change for the better, but a change she can't understand. I think once we get into a routine at home, she should improve. You can only be so consistent in a hotel while traveling in a foreign country. Also, at home we have two little boys that I can use as props for what is acceptable behaviour and the rewards of good behaviour. I'm hoping they will also help ease her transition. All I can say is that the prayer level around here will definately be "never ceasing". I'm thankful that I know God who understands this little girl and her needs and sorrows.

In Guangzhou

Amanda has been sick the last few days and is finally over what was giving her a lot of woes. So, Brett hasn't really gone anywhere and stayed in the hotel. Thankfully, she is on the mend, but now Brett is feeling really ill. So, Grandpa is taking over a lot of the Amanda care and Brett is just trying to rest so that he can make that plane ride home. I'm sure Brett's Dad did not realize all that he was signing up for and is REALLY ready to get home. I'm just ready for them to get home so we can get everyone well and move onto making a new family of six. I'll just share this picture...It was pictures from a fellow adoptee's camera at the orphanage.



Both of these children have families now and are just waiting to get home.

Please pray for Brett - he has almost 4 days left and really needs to get better. Thank you!

Leaving Zhengzhou on the way to Guangzhou

Amanda loves to point in her cute way, especially when there's a camera
She's amazingly content and bonding with us so well! Tonight my dad are wearing our t-shirts that say Ba ba (daddy) and Ye ye (grandpa).



Our group in the hotel in Zhengzhou before going to the airport. We are now taking care of US Visa stuff and sightseeing a little in Guangzhou while we stay at the famous White Swan Hotel. There are 49 families (from different adoption agencies) staying here who are adopting. It's great to see them all at breakfast! We are on a small island and there are riverboats, beautiful walkways with a tropical feel and it's in the high 90s all week! Nice to see the sky here. We only saw it for half a day in Zhengzhou due to the overcast weather. We are eating Italian tonight to take a break from Chinese food, which has been excellent.



Her pink hat was a big hit today and she would hide behind it. Thanks to na-na!



At the airport in Zhengzhou with Eli, who was a buddy of hers in the orphanage. Amazingly enough, they are about the same age.



We walked by a wedding in Zhengzhou. Their attire is similar to ours in this case.



Amanda went for her physical today and passed. They are still waiting the results of the TB test she had to take. The way they checked her hearing was tapping a lighter on the floor. Brett felt that probably wasn't the safest thing to do in a hospital. He had them get rid of all the animals in the room because of her fear of them which we really wish we knew where that came from. All in all a good day with Amanda feeling much better.

I just had to share this picture

This picture is from Gotcha Day. I just had to share it. I "stole" it from another blogger in Brett's travel group.

Please pray for Brett

Please pray for Brett and Amanda today. She still has diarrhea and an ear infection so she has not been herself. She's not feeling well and hasn't been eating or drinking that great either. Brett had his adoption guides call the orphanage to see if diarrhea was usual for her (suspected milk intolerance). They found out that the orphanage had a cake party the day before they left and Amanda apparently chowed down. Brett was very irritated with that one!

So, what I'm asking is for comments of encouragement for him - anything really! Those of you who have his e-mail, please flood his in-box with encouragement and just chatty information if you wish. He's feeling very isolated even from his group because they are scattered throughout the hotel and if you don't go on the group activity of the day, you don't really see them. So, if you read this blog, please leave comments or e-mail him - I'm asking for a little more than one line comments if you can. Tell him what a great Dad he is or even what's happening in your life. THANK YOU!

Free day in Zhengzhou

Today, Brett and Amanda had a free day in Zhengzhou. The weather has been pretty rainy and chilly so they stayed in the hotel. This was good in a way because she had "the runs" every 45 minutes. She's mostly over it by now, but they aren't sure why she had them. The formula, too much food, parasites? Brett has realized that he is not really knowing what to do because as he puts it "I'm just not maternal". Brett said amazingly through all this sickness, her attitude has not changed and she's still very cheerful and outgoing. She loves to have people give her attention and will charm everyone she sees. It sounds like she is a fun little girl and I can't wait for her to come home.




She really likes her noodles!




In the Crown Plaza hotel in Zhengzhou.




In a hotel playroon donated to the hotel by our adoption agency (CCAI).

She's a Benson!

Today, Brett officially adopted Amanda. She's a Benson and according to the Chinese government, an orphan no more. There's a lot of waiting for stuff to happen, so he can't come home yet. As Brett's dad says, "A lot of hurry up and wait." She's been eating a lot - even eating too much. Enough to give her tummy a little disruption on both sides. Despite what they said, she's really not potty trained which is fine. We can just do it here and I'll understand her more to know when she has to go. So, enjoy the pictures. I'm so proud to be her mom.

Here's Amanda at the hotel. As you can see, she's smaller than all the 24 month sized clothing I sent. Oh well - something to grow into!


Apparently, she has quite the fun personality. She's just so happy to be with people and likes to imitate people. She's very interested in EVERYTHING. I am sooo baby proofing this house before she comes.



Once again - her personality shines through.


I sent a backpack with Brett to carry her around China.


This is the local superstore in Zhengzhou. Talk about visually overwhelming!

Gotcha Day Part 2!

We finally met Amanda today (Mon. the 13th here in China at about 11:30am) and officially brought her into our family. She's sleeping soundly as I type this (at 10pm in Zhengzhou). She's wanted to be held a lot much of the day, which isn't surprising and we have obliged!



She has a sweetness and fun personality. A few of the families including ours had to wait about an extra 1 hour for our kids to arrive for the "handoff." So I'm glad that part is over. Amanda looked around a lot but interacted with us and didn't even fuss or cry at all.

I need to get some sleep while she is sleeping but I hope to add more details tomorrow.



Some of her caretakers...she was taken good care of at her orphanage and it shows.


This is one proud grandpa! He REALLY likes her!

Gotcha Day!

Brett still hasn't e-mailed me his pictures, but there is a woman in his group that was taking pictures of everyone's kids and posted them for me. When Brett got her in his arms, she SMILED. I saw her on skype this morning and she is looking VERY happy and VERY at peace. He gave her a bath and she was splashing water all over the place and having a great time. Apparently she is afraid of animals and the little bath toys were animals so - no bath toys for her. Here are the pictures!




Brett called me when they got her and I got a chance to talk to her on the phone.



Her Papa thinks she's the most wonderful thing in the world.






Going back to the hotel. No more orphanage for this little girl. She gets a FAMILY!

Touring in Bejing

I talked to Brett for almost an hour on Skype which I was really needing. But, he now has decent internet service and has sent me an update:


At the Bejing airport, which is amazing architecture in itself.


With our CCAI guide Sindy.


A funny sign on the corner, for some reason they must have had trouble with people playing the trumpet there.


With my dad at the Olympic park, in front of the bird's nest. Ginormous!


My dad at the Great Wall, Breathtakingly awesome to see.
It was quite a workout going up at the most steep area with 70 degree steps. If the Wall was laid straight in the U.S. it would go all the way from the East coast all the way to the West coast.


I went up pretty close to highest tip of the Wall. It was a beautiful clear day and that isn't often the case in Bejing. They have done much to improve the air there.


Yesterday we also went to a Chinese acrobatic performance which was amazing.
We also enjoyed a tea ceremony where our group learned about the different kinds of teas, how to drink them properly, what the benefits of each one is, etc.

We arrived today in Zhenghou ("jeng-jou"), which is the city where Amanda has lived in an orphanage. It has about 6 million people in it and the whole province has 100 million. We are staying at the nicest hotel in the city--Crowne Plaza.

Tomorrow morning (Monday) is the big day where we go get Amanda. I'm a little apprehensive since I don't know how she'll react but I'm at peace knowing this is being orchestrated by God!

We are enjoying getting the know the other families in our group who are also adopting kids from the region. Two others are from the same orphanage so that could help with Amanda's transition. I'm thankful that my dad and I have adjusted well to the time change and been catching up on sleep the last two days. We just wake up at about 3:30 in the morning each day!

I'll share some updated photos of Amanda tomorrow...

Brett

The home front

We interrupt this adoption blog for a musings from the home front. The adoption trip will resume once I hear anything from Brett.

While Brett is picking up our fourth child, I am at home keeping things going around here which in our family mostly means getting Judah (who just had hip surgery) back to his normal self. It's a little scary. He has lost a lot of weight and his legs have atrophied greatly. He is in pain when he even attempts to stand and I'm wondering if he'll ever get back to walking. And then I think, "We're having a fourth child coming here very soon with her own list of doctors" and I panic a little.

I've been reading a book Brett left called "Love has a face" by Michele Perry. It's basically a missionary story of a woman who works with Sudanese people. There has been so much that has really spoken to me out of this book. The first is a quote by C.S. Lewis out of Mere Christianity:

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house...He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."

There's coming to me a realization that I am wholly inadequate for all this. God is building his palace in my heart - a place He can dwell and I am learning the lesson of "My grace is sufficient for you for My power is made perfect in weakness". So lest you think I'm some sort of super-mom who can handle it all, I really can't. It's only through God's grace that I can do anything I do. And adopting another child? Why would we do that when we already have so much? Again, the book I'm reading answers that perfectly.

"I have been learning to see. God has been teaching me to see both the physically poor and the truly poor as He sees them...Seeing might compel us to become involved. And that involvement would surely entail risk. Risk might mean personal cost..."

We saw the orphans. We saw them in such a way that we were compelled to become involved. We knew we could make a huge difference for at least one child and we took the plunge. Yes, it will personally cost us, but we believe the blessing of knowing Amanda will outweigh the cost.

Beth

More from Brett ( he called this afternoon also)

Here's Brett's update from the horses mouth so to say...

After a 12 hour flight including a 4 hour layover in Seoul, I made it to Bejing. It is more green than I remember it being when I was here 14 years ago. The drive from the airport to the hotel reminded me of Lakeshore Drive in Chicago. This was a little different in that one side of the street looked like Cabrini Green ( a Chicago housing project) and the other side was all new buildings. The area is full of expansion and cranes.

Today, we are going to the Great Wall of China and also to an arobatic show. I slept from 3 pm and woke up at 3:30 am this morning. My dad is frustrated because his clock that should say all the times around the world is not working.

His final thoughts? Meeting Amanda is going to be like a reunion even though I've never met her.

Talked to a sleepy Brett

Now, you need to understand a lot of these adoption blogs are written by the mom. They have all these pictures about their stay and lots of chatty information. This blog will be mostly written by me (Beth), but I am getting second hand information from my husband (Brett) while he is in China. So, if you don't get a lot of "feelings" and chatty information and lots of pictures, you'll know why.

I called Brett up today on his Panda phone. I woke him up...It was 10:30 pm there and he was supposed to have a skype call to us at 8 am. His clock said that we were only at 3am, so no call. They got into China at 5:30 in the morning. He said they hadn't slept much on the plane and went to take a short nap at 2:30pm. That short nap was the one I woke him up from. They decided not to pay for internet in the hotel in Bejing and just do it from their hotel in Zhengzhou when they got there (in two days). I asked Brett to find one of his travel mates and update us a bit on his computer. So, this is all the information you or I will get for now. They are going to the Great Wall tomorrow, so I hope they sleep the rest of the time.

Brett is on a plane

Yesterday at 3pm, Caleb, Nathan, and I drove Brett to the airport while Judah stayed with his Grandma. There was a short teary goodbye and lots of hugs and he got on a airplane and flew to Los Angeles. I, being the "want to know everything" kinda person I am asked him to call me from LA just so I would know that he made his connecting flight to China. So, he left LA at 2am our time and is hopefully sleeping a lot on that plane. He made a little sign for his shirt that says "please do not disturb" because the last time we were on an Asian flight, they seemed to feed us whole meals every 4 hours. He will arrive in Bejing at 5:30 am and have a day to do nothing. The ironic thing is, his hotel serves a nice breakfast and he may be just in time for it. I told him last night that this whole plane thing is the main reason he's going and not me. Caleb woke up a little teary eyed and misses his dad already. Judah just keeps saying "DADEE". It's going to be a long two weeks.

Just eight days till we travel to China...

It's hard to believe that I'll be leaving for China on Sept. 9 and will be able to hold Amanda in my arms on Sept. 12! We estimated that it wouldn't be till Oct. or Nov. that I (Brett) would be going there. I'm looking forward to having my dad with me during this time. He's quite the research king so he'll know what is surrounding us at every turn so I can just focus on Amanda's needs. He knows that we don't want to be there longer than the two weeks we need to be there and he is willing not to do the extra tour day in Bejing. But we do plan to join our group of other families who are also adopting from Henan province to go to the Great Wall (which Beth and I saw in '95)