My little bee

I've been thinking this over for a few months and have come to this conclusion. Amanda is a bee. She's our daughter - she has a home - in this scenario, let's call it the hive. She is our little bee and flits from flower to flower always coming home to the hive. We're really meant to "share" her. I noticed it on Wednesday at the Cleft Clinic. There was a ten year old girl there who had had a stroke due to a heart surgery. She couldn't talk and made really guttural noises. She also had a lip repair and teeth that really weren't quite right. Amanda decided she was just fine and went up to her as a new friend. She's used to Judah so this little girl didn't scare her away either. They interacted with each other a bit with Amanda telling her all sorts of things through her jibber jabber. At the end, the little girl signed "I love you" to Amanda.

So, all that to say, Amanda is our little bee and being the social animal she is, will continue to flit from flower to flower making friends. And the fun thing is - she gets to come home to her hive bringing all that love she's shared with her.

Pink Thunder

This is the name Brett has given her as a nickname. Her two older brothers (aside from Judah) are called by me "the thundering herd" (since that's the sound they make wherever they go). So now we have Judah, pink thunder, and the thundering herd. I had some sort of idea in my mind that having a girl would be different. It is, but not in ways I expected. She is really cute when she likes to snuggle, give kisses, and feed her doggy that she carries around everywhere. I expected that in some ways. What I didn't expect was her climbing abilities. Of the three mobile toddlers I have had, she is the only one to climb in and out of her crib. She is the only one to figure out how to get on top of the counter chairs in our kitchen. The only one to climb onto the table, and the only one to figure out how to make the kitchen drawer handles into a ladder. This, I did not expect. I thought the boys would have been the instigators of all of the above. Nope - just pink thunder...

Latest word...

Brett is predicting we're going to start getting some sentences out of Amanda by the time she is three or soon thereafter. The latest word:

"WHY?"

As in "Amanda don't touch the Wii remote." "Why?" (said with a little whine - she's got the whole intonation thing down).

As in "Amanda come here." "Why?"

She knows what she's talking about. She most likely picked that one up from her brothers. They teach her quite a bit - both the good and the bad.

She voluntarily said...

Mo caka...Yes, she actually asked properly for "more cracker". She even did it without me prompting her to tell me what she wanted because she was whining. We are on our way to verbalizing needs and wants without whining! Ta Da!

What Amanda loves

Swimming with her Dad. She LOVES the pool.



Riding in her princess carriage being pushed by her loyal servant Nathan



Fancy clothes and pony tails in her hair



She is learning to love a dolly! Yes people she is no longer terrified of the baby doll. She is learning to embrace the dolly - make friends with the dolly - love the dolly.



Now, as you may remember, she has become a Barbie Doll for two of her older brothers. Apparently, she is also a sticker book.




Yes Amanda - it is pretty funny.

Learning to talk

Yesterday, the speech therapist came over for Amanda. He pulled out his pictures and had her repeat what he was saying. She started repeating stuff like bike, apple, banana, puppy, ssss for snake and a whole slew of other words. I was amazed. I had no idea all that was in her. Mostly what I have been getting lately is a point of the finger and "gudlek". Then she repeats "gudlek" like I know exactly what she's talking about. Then she gets mad because I don't understand "gudlek". SOOO nice to be at that point in speech. It gives me hope that she too will be able to talk to me...

Who needs Barbie Dolls?

We aren't the type of parents that would purposely give our sons Barbie Dolls. If we had, they probably would have made them into a guitar (we have children who made everything into guitars instead of guns). Side note: we have not taught Amanda the skill of making everything into a guitar. Instead she has picked this up on her own. Yesterday, it was a bath brush guitar playing little girl. There must be something in the home atmosphere because it has gone beyond the gene pool...Anyhow - back to the Barbies. The boys have never been interested in dressing up the stuffed animals or dolls that they do have. But then came Amanda. She has become their little Barbie doll. She's game too which makes it all the more fun for them.

Here she is as Mary. No baby Jesus yet...



Look, baby Jesus has entered the picture along with a couple of bears.



Here's a standing picture which apparently wouldn't be complete without the bears.



Now, we just don't do Mary and baby Jesus around here. We also have the pink hat which according to Nathan is "cute on her". But we have to add a little cute meets Star Wars. And Amanda willingly goes for all of these costume changes. Who needs Barbies?

Where Amanda came from

I just recently saw this picture on a yahoo group for people who have adopted from Xuchang orphanage. This is the type of room where Amanda was first brought. A lot of little cribs - very institutional - not at all like a home. This picture was taken in September 2007 when a family from the Netherlands went to pick up their new daughter. Amanda was four months old. She may have been in one of those little cribs. I thought about this picture as I was changing her diaper. She has scars on her bottom from what I'm assuming to be a very bad case of continual diaper rash. Not enough workers to go around and change all those little bottoms as much as they needed it. As I thought about it, I told her she would never have that type of rash that made her bottom so sore that it caused scaring. I gave her a kiss. She doesn't know what all that means, but for now, I know that she is in a family and not getting the attention she needs will never happen again.

She's officially a Benson according to the state of Minnesota

Today, we went to the county courthouse and re-adopted Amanda. Since I (Beth) did not go to China, we needed to legally re-adopt her in Minnesota. Minnesota also requires that we wait three months, we just got it done today. So, officially today Xue Ru Dang became Amanda Grace Benson and has all the legal rights as a natural born child. Next, becoming an American citizen - then I have a personal party and shred adoption paperwork.



Also, a little cuteness. Her words are coming slowly but surely. Yesterday, I figured out what she was saying when the boys are arguing. She yells "guys!". Guess what I yell when they argue? So, she's in the tub and hears a fight outside the bathroom. She leans over the tub and yells "guys!". Like mother like daughter.

Oh the weather outside is frightful!

One thing about Minnesota this year (like much of the country) is that we have had a lot of snow. And when we get a lot of snow, it basically means there's a lot of building materials for the Benson kids.



Now, a good fort has to have the ability to stand up in a snowball fight. Caleb made sure about this one by reinforcing the entry with wood and pouring water on it for stability.



Nathan also likes the fort because he can stand up on the inside and still see over the edge unlike the fort of last year where the mail carrier told us to not let the kids play in because they couldn't be seen until they popped out. We have moved the fort building fun up the driveway a bit.



Now, Brett decided that Amanda needed to experience the outdoors, so he bundled her up and brought her outside.



Since this was a little girl who had never really been outdoors much, the snow was somewhat exciting for her to look at and taste. But, like her mother, she has decided that the outdoors during the wintertime is really overrated and the boys can have it. Besides, her parents can't even find a hat that fits her head well!



So, happy winter everyone! I need to go out and shovel AGAIN!

Christmas with the Bensons

Amanda had a nice Christmas - as much as a two year old can understand about Christmas. She got things like stickers,



little light up toys and a fun box that included a little car to ride on.




Judah opened up a bag of Christmas Cheetos (he gets them every year and loves them)



while Caleb and Nathan had some good times also




Overall, the Benson kids had a very merry Christmas (how did we get so many kids?!?!).

Sound asleep

I needed to wake Amanda up from her nap today so that she would sleep well tonight (unlike last night which is a whole different story). This is what I discovered:



Are all girls this flexible? The more important question is - how can this be comfortable?!?!? If you notice, on her left hand is a sock that was on her foot when I put her to bed. I guess she was roaming around a little before going to sleep.

We have pigtails!

I am hesitant to call what Amanda has ponytails because they really are short. But after 3 boys, you relish each step of actually putting a rubber band onto your child's hair for a different style. I take whatever I can get! She likes having them in and thinks she's pretty funny in the mirror. We may get some hair on the girl yet!

Toddler dilemna

Amanda likes her mac-n-cheese. She likes it even more when it's the shell pasta. She likes making little hats for her fingers with the shells.



Now, the dilemma. She was finished with everything in her bowl and wanted more. She really wanted to eat the "hats" on her fingers, but knew then she would have no more "hats" for her fingers. Hence, the dilemma.



Very sad, very sad.

Just for the record, she was boo hooing right before I took this picture:



She just has figured out every time the camera appears, it's time to smile. Funny little girl.

Thanksgiving at Grandma's

We drove to Grandma's house with much trepidation expecting that Amanda would have trouble sleeping in a different bed and be somewhat clingy not really understanding the concept of visiting someone else. Thankfully, we were wrong on both counts. She did amazingly well and we really got to see what a party animal she really is. She has 9 aunts and uncles and 6 cousins seen here:




She loved comanding the attention of all those adults and toward the end of our stay got really good at being cute and adorable so that everyone would notice her. We have got a social animal on our hands. She always liked to be in the center of things - wrestling with Uncle Dave (poor Uncle Dave!)



Or watching TV with the brothers:



By the way, for all of you who are old enough to remember...Remeber the Fisher Price Little People when they were actually little? That's what she has on her finger. Those Little People were much more fun to play with than the bohemeth "little" people they have now.


Overall, it was a nice time away and we got to see a side of her that we don't see often enough (mostly because we just don't get out) - the party girl Amanda.

Waking up happy

For the first month and a half, Amanda would wake up crying. The afternoon nap was particularly hard since I think she was a bit disorientated to where she was. I think she was grieving the loss of what she had left behind. Most days after she woke from her afternoon nap, I would cringe knowing there was an hour of crying and temper tantrums to come. Unless we would be able to get outside (which she loves now), there was no distracting her. Now, she wakes up like this:




She is one happy camper. She will talk to herself to go to sleep and when waking. I no longer cringe when I go to get her. All is well in the world. Brett and I think finally, she feels safe and loved.

Now, just because I have some more pictures, here you go...

She really is a diva at heart. I thought the red sweater would be too warm, but she insisted. She kept feeling the fuzzy fabric and picked out the shoes to complete the outfit. She loves looking pretty and dressing in cute clothes.




This is why little kids draw people with such long legs. That's all they see when they look up.

She ate peas!

Yes - Amanda has had her first taste of peas where she didn't turn them down just because they were green. She actually opened her mouth and let them come in! Now, she wasn't thrilled with the whole experience and I think she would rather have gotten those peas out (she tried, but I tried harder). I've been teaching her to put her spoon over her mouth to show that she shouldn't spit stuff out. She ate a bowl full of mushed peas. Hooray! Then, to top off the eating miracle, she ate vegetable/beef soup pureed. And she didn't even flinch! Brett said it was a "God sighting" for him. That's a moment when the Kingdom of God shows up in our ordinary lives.

Now, for those that are thinking - isn't this child 2 1/2 and shouldn't she be over all this stuff with trying new foods? Well, according to her sheets from the orphanage, she was eating rice porridge, noodles, bananas, cookies, cake, and apples (which we highly doubt). There were no vegetables in her diet and not much variety. The first time I even attempted anything with color, I had to hide it. The first time I attempted green, she wouldn't even open up and turned her head. So, variety in her diet is a big step. If she would just eat what we eat, I wouldn't have to double cook - meal for us - meal for her...This is huge!

The smell of fear

I listened to a woman this week who was talking about her adoption of older boys and during the talk, she mentioned that fear can make your body smell differently. I asked her if it was musty - kinda like an old attic. Yes. The way I know is that Amanda smelled like that when she came. I have never smelled that before and attributed it to her parasite. Apparently, it was fear. Thank God she no longer smells like that, but it really makes me understand a bit more what she has really gone through.

Growin' and a changin'

This weekend Nana and Papa (Brett's parents) came for a little visit. We were wondering if Amanda remembered her Papa from their time in China. After all that he went through to help get her here, we HOPED she remembered. She did. She saw him and went right to him wanting to be picked up.



Not surprising is that the little finger she had her Papa wound around is still in working order.

She also found out her Nana is pretty cool also.



She's dancing in this picture. For some reason, she dances with her arms up like that and tilts her head from side to side. When she's down on the ground, she does more of a hip wiggle, but when she's being held, it's all about the arms.




And, when you watch your family play Wii bowling, it's pretty funny to hear the pins knock down.



Finally, just to prove to all of us that she is growing used to life outdoors and all things associated with it, she decided to pet not one but two DOGS. Real life actual dogs. She not only got close to them, but she TOUCHED them! My husband knew I wouldn't quite believe him, so he got a picture:




A final blog detail. A few of you have commented how the comment section doesn't work. I think I have fixed that, so feel free to leave a comment.

Beth

Big changes in 5 weeks

Remember this little waif of a girl?



When she came to our home, she weighed just over 20 lbs. She didn't eat much and her muscle tone was a little on the floppy side. She couldn't walk down our driveway because of the slope and she ran looking a little bowlegged. She was scared of every stuffed animal we had.

After five weeks, she has gained 3 1/2 pounds and while she is limited in her food choices, she eats a lot of them. She can almost run down the driveway and stuffed animals are now seen (most of the time) as the snuggly, cuddly things they were meant to be:



Honestly, she looks huge in this picture to me:



She is working on saying words like "up" and "mama" and is learning how to baby sign for some others. She is learning to cuddle and not wiggle so much. She is a lot more verbal and knows how to get her way. She has wormed her way into our family and she is here to stay.